" I’m hitting the woods great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them"
Harry Toscano
"Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty!! "
Harry Vardon
“I don’t exaggerate. I just remember big”
Chi Chi Rodriguez
“The harder I work, the luckier I get”
Gary Player
“You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my 2 ex- wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands have to work”
Lee Trevino
Ok, I’m playing with Al Barkow today, and Al is typically a very fine putter… but today we are both struggling on the greens.
Al has a putting book coming out soon, so I say to Al, I guess I’ll just have to wait till your book comes out until I can putt good…
and if I have questions I can ask you, right from the Horse’s mouth…
Al replies, "You mean, from the Horse’s Ass! "
Advice to the young professional golfer:
“Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey,” he said, “and never concede a putt.”
Sam Snead
Bentshaft sent this one over this morning
Tiger Woods Sept 09:
“You have to make the putts, You can’t out-ball-strike these guys anymore. The equipment is too good now.”
" It’s not your life…it’s not your wife…it’s only a game "
Lloyd Mangrum
I’ll give Lloyd 2 outta 3! 
The wife will just have to figure it out on her own.
I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, one over a swimming pool.
George Brett
“Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.”, Rick Reilly
This from a newspaper, Friday, October 20, 2009
“Sonoma - A week ago Phil Blackmar wasn’t sure he wanted to keep playing competitive golf. Now he’s trying to win for the second straight week.”
Blackmar: “Somebody jumped in my body last week … I guess he’s still there… I hope he stays there for another three days. I don’t know who he is.”
“Dividing the swing into its parts is like dissecting a cat. You’ll have blood and guts and bones all over the place. But you won’t have a cat.”
Ernest Jones
For Lag
Would it have been so when you were 19.
The worst club in my bag is my brain. ~Chris Perry
Pressurecooker
“The Golf Hall of Fame is full of players with unusual looking swings. Some of the prettiest swings you’ve ever seen in your life are made on the far end of the public driving range by guys who couldn’t break an egg with a baseball bat.”
Peter Jacobsen
“I stopped playing Pebble when they raised the greens fee from five to ten dollars. Pebble Beach is just not a ten dollar golf course…”
Charles ‘Bud’ McVey
“The first time I played in the Oakland Open I was paired with Byron Nelson. We hit our drives on one of the hardest 4 pars pretty close together and I saw Byron’s ball ended up in a real nasty divot a little over 200 yards from the green. I tried to figure what I could do with it, maybe gouge a 4 wood out short of the green so I could chip up and make par. I’m still thinking about it and Bang! he nails a 2 iron way up high straight at the pin. Lands on the front edge and stops less than 20 foot from the hole. I looked back down and the divot was exactly the same, not a blade of grass moved from him hitting that ball. We had to wait on the next tee and I say to him, nice shot out of that divot back there… He tells me ‘What divot?’. That’s why I never turned pro.”
Charles ‘Bud’ McVey
“I’m pretty tired, son. I tell you what, how about I feather a little four wood up next to the hole here, make my two and you drive me home in the cart?”
Charles ‘Bud’ McVey
Last Golf Hole He Ever Played
Men’s Club Event, #12
Par 3, 177 Yards
Cut 4 Wood off the deck to 2’, 4"
Made the Putt
89 years old, USGA index 7.8
“Whenever I reach a par 5 in two they turn it into a par 4”
Fred Funk