Courtesy of “The Onion”, this was too funny not to post:
AKRON, OH—Tiger Woods scored a career-worst 18-over-par finish at the Bridgestone Invitational Sunday, officially hitting rock bottom if one ignores the fact that he is worth over $600 million, is still the world’s No. 1–ranked golfer, never has to work another day for the rest of his life, and has millions of fans worldwide. “Four rounds in the mid-to-high 70s, and finishing 78th out of 80 golfers—it simply can’t get any worse for Tiger,” ESPN golf analyst Andy North said of Woods, who left Sunday’s round in his private jet and who, despite a damaging sex scandal, still earned more than $90 million in 2010. “Nowhere to go from here but up, [or sail up and down the California coast in his yacht for the rest of his life if he wants to].” Woods was unable to comment on reaching his personal low point, as he was too busy checking into the penthouse suite of his four-star hotel and deciding if he wanted the 12-ounce or 16-ounce filet for dinner
